Archives For selfishness

"Facebook Destroyed My Marriage." Or Did It?

June 29, 2011 — Leave a comment

Some good words of wise perspective for our blame-game culture from Justin Davis:

Over the past five months there has been a trending topic that has led hundreds of people to our blog:

“Facebook destroyed my marriage.”

While I’m thankful that people who type in this phrase end up on our blog, the statement itself is NOT true.

We have conditioned ourselves to (more often than not) treat the symptoms of our problems rather than the problems themselves. Can I just say as candidly and as lovingly as possible, Facebook doesn’t destroy anything. Facebook didn’t destroy your marriage. Facebook isn’t destroying your marriage. Facebook might be the most visible symptom of the sickness that has taken root in your marriage, but Facebook doesn’t destroy anything.

  • Lack of commitment destroys marriages.
  • Selfishness destroys marriages.
  • Not letting go of the past destroys marriages.
  • Unwillingness to forgive destroys marriages.
  • Lack of sexual purity destroys marriages.
  • Not committing to telling the truth at all costs destroys marriages.
  • Being more in love with your job than your wife destroys marriages.
  • Finding your identity in your career, looks, wealth or status destroys marriages.
  • Settling for co-existence rather than pursuing intimacy destroys marriages.

My guess is that your marriage was in trouble long before Facebook. Do I think Facebook can be used as a means of escape? A way to live in a fantasy world? An opportunity to reconnect with people who could come between you and your spouse? Absolutely.

But if you’re seeking to escape from your spouse rather than pursuing your spouse, Facebook isn’t your problem. If you’re looking for a way to reconnect with a girl from your junior year of high school instead of treating your wife as the most important person in your life, Facebook isn’t your problem. If you work to create an online persona that impresses some guy in Fargo, North Dakota more than you work to impress your husband, Facebook isn’t your problem.

What would it look like for men and women to come clean and be honest and vulnerable and transparent with their wives and husbands, regardless of the cost? Could Facebook destroy that kind of commitment? How powerful would it be for husbands to love their wives with the sacrifice and unselfishness that Christ had for the church? Could Facebook simulate that? How unappealing would some girlfriend from 20 years ago be if wives were determined to honor and respect their husbands as unto the Lord?

I’m not saying there aren’t some inherent dangers to online social networks. But, I am saying they aren’t the ultimate cause of your problems. They simply accelerate the visual evidence of deeper problems.

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Be Careful About What Gets Lodged Inside You Today

January 25, 2011 — Leave a comment

If an object becomes  lodged somewhere, it is “fixed, implanted, or caught in a place or position.” It “comes to rest” or “sticks.”  As in,

  • The chicken bone got lodged in her throat.
  • The bullet lodged in his leg.
  • She had emergency surgery to remove a blood clot that was  lodged in her lung.

But objects aren’t the only things that can get lodged in unnatural places.

__________O Jerusalem, wash your heart from evil,
_________________that you may be saved.
__________How long shall your wicked thoughts
_________________lodge within you? (Jer 4.14)

There are wicked thoughts that can so very easily become lodged in your heart today. They don’t belong there any more than a chicken bone belongs in your throat, or a bullet belongs in your leg, or a blood clot belongs in your lung. If allowed to “stick,” these unholy seeds will take root and blossom.

Into selfishness, sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, callousness, greed, deception, self-pity, slander, obscene talk, and things like these.

As Jesus established in Matthew 15:19-20, “Out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person.”

Don’t want to be defiled?  Don’t want evil to “naturally” spew out of your mouth? Don’t want to live in bondage as a slave who foolishly continues to act on sinful passions and desires? Recognize these for what they are—wicked thoughts—and don’t allow them to become lodged within you today.

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_________ Reigns

November 22, 2010 — Leave a comment

A great question from Justin Buzzard.

________ reigns.

You must decide what you really believe.
You must decide how you will fill in the blank.

The Bible fills in the blank like this:

“The Lord  reigns.” (Psalm 97:1)

What does your behavior reveal about how you’ve filled in the blank?

  • Fear reigns?
  • Difficult circumstances reign?
  • An enemy reigns?
  • The economy reigns?
  • Regret reigns?
  • Despair reigns?
  • You reign?

You must decide what you really believe. You must decide how you will fill in the blank. You must decide who, or what, will sit on the throne of your life.

So fill in the blank: __________ reigns.

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Why Should We Study the Old Testament?

October 28, 2010 — 1 Comment

Psalm 111:2 provides an infallible answer to that question.   “Great are the works of the LORD, studied by all who delight in them.”

The Old Testament is absolutely jam-packed with historical accounts of the mighty works of God.

  • Creation
  • The flood and deliverance of Noah
  • The dispersion of people from the tower of Babel
  • The call of and covenant with Abram
  • The rescue of Lot
  • The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah
  • The miraculous birth of Isaac
  • The protection of Hagar and Ishmael
  • Jacob’s dream of a ladder reaching to heaven
  • Joseph’s rise to power in Egypt
  • The burning bush of Mount Horeb
  • The plagues, the Passover, and the Exodus
  • Pillars of cloud and fire
  • The parting of the Red Sea
  • Bitter waters made sweet
  • Bread from heaven
  • Water from rocks in the wilderness
  • Thunders, lightnings, and quakings around Mount Sinai
  • The Law, the Tabernacle, and the Priesthood
  • The earth opening its mouth and swallowing the household of Korah
  • Balaam being taught a lesson by his donkey
  • The conquest of Canaan
  • The raising up of judges to deliver the penitent people of Israel
  • The tender provision for and healing of Ruth
  • The birth of Samuel to previously barren Hannah
  • The toppling of the Philistine idol Dagon before the ark of the covenant
  • The rejection of Saul and anointing of David as king
  • The unprecedented wisdom granted to Solomon
  • The intense glory and presence that filled the Temple
  • Withholding rain, reversing death, and sending fire from heaven through Elijah
  • Powerful demonstrations of divine sovereignty over the kingdoms of men
  • The striking down of 185,000 Assyrians in a single night
  • The providential uses of Esther, Ahasuerus, Mordecai, and Haman
  • The challenging answers from a whirlwind to Job
  • The overwhelming manifestations of divine glory to Isaiah and Ezekiel
  • The messages of judgment and hope from weeping Jeremiah
  • The humiliation of Nebuchadnezzar
  • The prophetic dreams and terrifying visions of Daniel
  • The parabolic use of Hosea and Gomer to demonstrate the heartache of spiritual adultery
  • The locust infestation prophetically applied by Joel
  • The words of Amos, two years before the earthquake
  • The pronouncements of judgment against Edom from Obadiah
  • The disciplining of Jonah and the compassion shown to penitent Nineveh
  • The offer to gather, protect and forgive as a Shepherd-King through Micah
  • The dark oracle of Nahum against Nineveh
  • The straightforward dialogue about justice, sovereignty, and judgment with Habakkuk
  • The “day of the LORD” implications preached by Zephaniah
  • The restoration and rebuilding promises provided to Haggai
  • The prescription for discouragement and despondency delivered through Zechariah
  • The prophetic call to awake from cynicism and complacency via Malachi

“Great are the works of the LORD, studied by all who delight in them.”

God, in his wisdom, has provided thousands of years worth of history to be studied.

The more we study the great works of God, the more we delight in the God behind the great works.

The more we delight in the God behind the great works, the more our present perspective is impacted and our future trajectory is shaped.

With “whole hearts” (Psalm 111:1) we are moved to say with the psalmist:

  • Praise the LORD!   I will give thanks to the LORD. (Psalm 111:1)
  • Full of splendor and majesty is his work, and his righteousness endures forever. (Psalm 111:3)
  • God is gracious and merciful. (Psalm 111:4)
  • He provides food for those who fear him; he remembers his covenant forever. (Psalm 111:5)
  • He has shown his people the power of his works. (Psalm 111:6)
  • The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy. (Psalm 111:7)
  • Because God is trustworthy, I will faithfully respond in uprightness. (Psalm 111:8)
  • Holy and awesome is his name! (Psalm 111:9)
  • The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom. (Psalm 111:10)
  • Walking in God’s wisdom will provide insight to the meaning of my life. (Psalm 111:10)
  • God’s praise endures forever! (Psalm 111:10)

“Great are the works of the LORD, studied by all who delight in them.”

Are you suffering from a lack of genuine thankfulness?   Does God seem distant?   Do you feel despondent?   Have you been walking in selfish shortsightedness?   Has it been a while since you were blown away by the awesome holiness of God’s name?   Have you been stumbling through life like a fool?   Do you feel lost?   Does daily life seem to lack meaning?   Do you yearn to praise and depend upon someone or something greater than yourself?

If so, how long has it been since you studied, delighted in, were impacted and shaped by God’s mighty works preserved in the Old Testament?

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Ten Guaranteed Ways to be Perfectly Miserable

January 29, 2010 — Leave a comment

Some people have so many reasons to murmur and complain. But they don’t.

Some people have very little, if any reason to murmur and complain. But they do.

Paul’s encouragement to Christians in Philippians 2:14-16 was simple and straightforward.

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.   Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.   Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.

Do all things without grumbling or questioning. That is God’s expectation of you.   But if you’d rather defy him, follow these ten simple guidelines, and you’ll be perfectly miserable, GUARANTEED!

  1. Think and talk about yourself as much as possible.
  2. Measure your  happiness by the  amount of money  and stuff you have.
  3. Be suspicious and jealous of everyone.
  4. Be super-sensitive, easily offended, and impossible to be comforted.
  5. Never forget a criticism or  personal offense.
  6. Think the worst  about everyone.
  7. Push your own opinions on others to the point of contention.
  8. Never forget (or let others forget)  a good deed you have done.
  9. Shirk your responsibilities  whenever you can.
  10. Refuse to forgive or show mercy or compassion to anyone.

Just recognize and remember that you won’t be a faithful, blessed, fruit-bearing disciple of Christ.   His joy won’t be in you, and your joy will never be full (John 15:11).

For more interactive outlines and mp3 recordings, be sure to visit the Sermons archive.

NOTE: Advertisements on the above player are randomly generated by the service provider and do not necessarily imply endorsement of the material advertised. Readers are always encouraged to apply the “Berean test” (Acts 17:11) to all that they see and hear.
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A Foretaste of Hell

September 16, 2009 — Leave a comment

EnvySome sobering words from Gary Henry:

“But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.   This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.   For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there” (James 3:14-16).

The very essence of sin is self-will. Whereas love is outwardly focused, sin is inwardly focused.   It wants whatever it wants, regardless of the damage that anyone else may suffer.   It is unconcerned with how it treats others; how it is being treated is its only concern.   Sin is selfish.   It is irritable. It is competitive.

In hell, there will be nothing but sin and the selfishness that drives it.   On earth, even the most evil person lives in an environment where he gets the benefit of goodness in the lives of other people.   But in hell, there will be no such moderating influence.   There will be no goodness and no light at all.   Everyone there will have become as selfish and sinful as it is possible to be.   The corruption that started in this life will have reached its ultimate end.

It is horrifying to think of the souls in hell being utterly consumed with themselves, but we get a foretaste of what hell will be like every time we engage in acts of selfishness right now.   Read again what James said and think about what you are reading: “But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.   This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.   For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.”   Do you ever do any of these things?   You are never nearer to hell than when you do.

Standing still is not possible.   We are always moving toward God or away from Him.   With every decision we make, we take a step toward the likeness of our Creator or a step away from Him.   Eternity will simply be the final end of whichever path we are on, involving either complete glorification or total corruption.

How honest are you willing to be about your direction?   No amount of “religious” activity will help you if you are self-willed and self-seeking.   So be honest: which way are you really headed?

“We must picture hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment” (C. S. Lewis).

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Boot Camp: Now In Audio Book Format

February 20, 2009 — Leave a comment

Have a husband, father or son who enjoys Biblical material but who DOESN’T enjoy reading?

We’re thrilled to announce that my new book, Boot Camp: Equipping Men with Integrity for Spiritual Warfare is now available as an unabridged mp3 audio book.   The track breakdown looks like this:

  1. Preface to the I.M.A.G.E. Series (8:24)
  2. Still the Cause Before Us (1:52)
  3. Introduction (16:56)
  4. Chapter 1 – Boot Camp (39:56)
  5. Chapter 2 – Currahee (38:09)
  6. Chapter 3 – A Few Good Men (35:33)
  7. Chapter 4 – The Lord’s Infirmary (41:59)
  8. O To Be Like Thee (1:42)
  9. Chapter 5 – Selfishness (57:57)
  10. Chapter 6 – Sexual Immorality (40:11)
  11. Chapter 7 – Idolatry (1:01:41)
  12. Chapter 8 – Jealousy (52:43)
  13. Chapter 9 – Anger (48:19)
  14. Chapter 10 – Sins of the Tongue (48:54)
  15. Chapter 11 – Hypocrisy (47:48)
  16. Soldiers of Christ Arise (1:15)
  17. Chapter 12 – Be Strong in the Lord (42:07)
  18. Chapter 13 – The Armor of Holiness (57:45)
  19. The Army of Our Lord (1:13)
  20. Conclusion – Our Battle Cry (7:59)

That’s nearly 11 HOURS worth of material…for just $15.

To order, you can use the drop-down menu below or, as always, you can visit www.InGodsImage.com for many more details.


Use the drop-down menu to choose from 3 editions:




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If Our Songs Reflected How We Sometimes Act

November 20, 2008 — Leave a comment

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All Of Self

June 24, 2008 — Leave a comment

O, the bitter pain and sorrow
That a time could ever be,
When I proudly said to Jesus
“All of self, and none of Thee.”

Are you wasting your life?   What could define the principle of wastefulness more than a being created in the image of God Himself who proudly says by his actions (or inaction), “All of self and none of Thee”?

Let’s make sure that, at the end of the day, we haven’t lived like that.   Let’s remember, it’s not about us.   It’s about the Great I AM.

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Troubling Our Own Households

June 3, 2008 — Leave a comment

Take a thoughtful look at Proverbs 11:29, particularly the first half of the verse.

We all know how to make trouble in our own households, don’t we? We’ve been there. We’ve been the member of the family who has opened the front door to trouble and invited it in as a welcomed guest.

  • By operating in the spirit of selfishness.
  • When rolling our eyes.
  • Via biting sarcasm.
  • Through talking back.
  • While groaning and complaining.
  • By being disagreeable for the sake of being difficult.

Why not make the resolution right now that you will not do anything today to bring trouble into your own house? “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14). After all, don’t you want to inherit more than just the wind?

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