Living the Love Dare: A Year of Daily Reminders to Lead Your Heart sits on my desk at home.  Each day I see a short snippet from The Love Dare book by Stephen and Alex Kendrick.  The last few days have been reminders of how love makes good first impressions, particularly in the way we greet our spouses.  I’ve found them encouraging and thought you might as well.

Day 83
You can tell a lot about the state of a couple’s relationship from the way they greet one another.  You can see it in their expression and countenance, as well as how they speak to each other.

Day 84
A good greeting sets the stage for positive and healthy interaction.  Like love, it puts wind in your sails.

Day 85
Think back to the story Jesus told of the prodigal son.  Of all the scenarios this young man had played over in his mind, this was likely the last one he expected.  But how do you think it made him feel to receive his father’s embrace and hear his thankful tone?  He no doubt felt loved and treasured once again.  What do you think it did in their relationship?  What kind of greetings would make your mate feel like that?

Day 86
Think of the opportunities you have to greet each other on a regular basis.  When coming through the door.  When meeting for lunch.  When saying good-night.  When talking on the phone.

Day 87
Your greeting and expressions of love don’t have to be bold and dramatic every time.  But adding warmth and enthusiasm gives you the chance to touch your mate’s heart in subtle, unspoken ways.

Day 88
Love is a choice.  Choose to love.

Day 89
Think about your greeting.  Do you use it well?  Does your spouse feel valued and appreciated?  Do they feel loved?  Even when you’re not getting along, you can lessen the tension and give them value by the way you greet them.

How about you?  Could your greetings use some tweaking?

Randy Alcorn, on the danger of unrestricted, unmonitored Internet access:

We can all grow and develop in our “I’m Sorry” ability.  I recently read Ross Jones’ “Four Stages of I’m Sorry.”

Stage 1- I’m sorry, BUT…
I’m sorry BUT… is a non-apology.  It’s a fake.  It gives the appearance of apology but through the “But…” continues the argument, continues prosecuting the other.

Stage 2- I’m sorry, IF…
I’m sorry IF is not really saying I’m sorry.  It’s cheating—giving the appearance of an apology without being an apology.  “I’m sorry IF you’re offended.”

Stage 3- I’m sorry, PERIOD.
Finally, after the Stage 1 and Stage 2 fake apologies, Stage 3 is actually an apology.  I’m sorry, PERIOD.  No continuing the argument against the other person.  No justification or explanation.  Just…period.

Stage 4- I’m sorry, AND…
I’m sorry, AND I am moving towards you.  I’m sorry AND I love you.  I’m sorry AND let’s move forward.

- Jud Wilhite

Let’s determine to eliminate the BUTs and the IFs that stem from stubborn selfishness and supplement more of our apologies with ANDs.

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This weekend, why not determine to deliberately act as the “bigger” person?

• Every marriage that has grown stale is an opportunity for someone to step up.
• Every friendship in silent distress is an opportunity for someone to speak out.
• Every escalating conflict between neighbors is an opportunity for someone to back down.
• Every clash of opinions between brethren is an opportunity for someone to sacrifice.
• Every foolish action in the presence of a child is an opportunity for someone to teach.
• Every bitter war of words is an opportunity for someone to shut up.
• Every bridge that has been burned is an opportunity for someone to start building again.
• Every trespass against a fellow human being is an opportunity for someone to say “I’m sorry.”
• Every offer of forgiveness is an opportunity for someone to be reminded of their own unworthiness.

Every day there are relational opportunities to let our lights shine before others so that they may see our good works and give glory to our Father who is in heaven (Matthew 5:14-16).  What do we call the man or woman who takes advantage of such opportunities?  The “bigger” person.  Jesus calls them,

• the poor in spirit (Matthew 5:3)
• those who mourn (Matthew 5:4)
• the meek (Matthew 5:5)
• those who hunger and thirst for righteousness (Matthew 5:6)
• the merciful (Matthew 5:7)
• the pure in heart (Matthew 5:8)
• the peacemakers (Matthew 5:9)
• the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13)
• the light of the world (Matthew 5:14-16)
• brothers and sisters (Hebrews 2:11)

This weekend, why not determine to step out in faith as the “bigger” person?  Why not look at hardships and difficulties and obstacles as opportunities?  Why not follow in the footsteps of King Jesus?

Got my first shipment of Boot Camp books with the new cover today.  They look fantastic.  Thanks to my brother, a very talented graphic designer, for the great update.

If you’d like one, head on over to www.InGodsImage.com.  That’s where you’ll find the cheapest prices on each edition: softcover, hardcover, and unabridged mp3 audio book.

Meek men are not weak men…they refuse to shove, push, and throw their weight around.  They do not win their wars with brutal battles and fierce fights.  They win their way into a hundred hearts and homes with the passport of a lowly, loving spirit.

Their unique genius is their gentleness.  This quality of life does not come from a position of feeble impotence, but rather from a tremendous inner strength and serenity.  Only the strong, stable spirit can afford to be gentle…. This quality is much more than a thin veneer of proper propriety or superficial politeness…. Rather, it is the epitome of a laid-down life, poured out, laid out, lived on behalf of others.

- W. Phillip Keller, A Gardener Looks at the Fruits of the Spirit

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” (Matthew 5:27:30)

Author Ron Hutchcraft says a big reason some wives are desperate or discouraged is a husband who fails to meet her needs for affection, attention and affirmation.  Men, here’s Hutchcraft’s three question test:

1. First, am I loving my wife in the ways that make her feel loved?
2. Second, am I giving her exclusive attention on a regular basis?
3. Third, am I building her up by praising her?

If a man says “yes” to all three questions, his wife won’t be desperate.   She’ll be a woman who knows she’s safe, secure, treasured and loved.