The Greatest “Love Language” of All

In The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman suggests that there are five basic ways we express love to others. “Each person has a primary love language that we must learn to speak if we want that person to feel loved.”

  1. Words of affirmation: this language uses words to affirm other people.
  2. Acts of service: for these people, actions speak louder than words.
  3. Receiving gifts: for some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.
  4. Quality time: this language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.
  5. Physical touch: to this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.

While each of these “love languages” has their place, God’s revelation to mankind points us to something even greater—the ultimate source, the purest, highest, most profound “love language” of all.


Dying to self is the greatest “love language” of all.

  • The Son of God introduced us to it in John 15:1-14 — “Greater love has no one than this.”
  • The Holy Spirit points us to its greatest model in Romans 5:7-8 — “God shows his love for us.”
  • Our heavenly Father calls us to imitate it in Ephesians 5:1-2 — “As beloved children.”
  • Paul shows us the mindset it demands in Galatians 2:20 — “I have been crucified.”


This greatest of all “love languages” is a choice, not a feeling. It is a commitment of an imperfect person to imperfect people. But if we will trust our heavenly Father and make this choice…

  • God is able to fix broken hearts with this choice (Col 3:1-15).
  • God is able to fix broken people with this choice (Gal 5:16-24).
  • God is able to fix broken homes with this choice (Eph 5:21-33).

His fixing requires my choice—a choice that must be made every day (1 Cor 15:31).

This sermon was delivered on May 12, 2013.

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