The Affair Started With a Kiss

From USA Today (4/20/12):

FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. (AP) – Former Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino sent candy to his mistress, called her a “close friend” and suggested the affair that cost him his job started with a kiss over lunch last fall, according to documents released Thursday…

Petrino told his boss that his affair with [Jessica] Dorrell began with a kiss last fall and ended sometime in February when the two decided to simply be friends.

At one point last October, Petrino and Dorrell were sitting in a car, eating lunch and talking and “she said are you going to kiss me,” according to Long’s notes of his April 10 conversation with Petrino. He then wrote: “Kissed on lunch outing.”

Had Bobby Petrino been able to flash six-months-forward and see his life now, I’m confident he would have opened that car door, ran and never looked back.

Behold, the devastating deceitfulness of sin.

Sin has taken Bobby Petrino further than he ever intended to go.

Sin has kept Bobby Petrino longer than he ever wanted to stay.

Sin has cost Bobby Petrino more than he ever planned to pay.

But Bobby Petrino is not unique.

____________ For at the window of my house
_________________ I have looked out through my lattice,
____________ and I have seen among the simple,
_________________ I have perceived among the youths,
_________________ a young man lacking sense,
____________ passing along the street near her corner,
_________________ taking the road to her house
____________ in the twilight, in the evening,
_________________ at the time of night and darkness.

____________ And behold, the woman meets him,
_________________ dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart.
____________ She is loud and wayward;
_________________ her feet do not stay at home;
____________ now in the street, now in the market,
_________________ and at every corner she lies in wait.
____________ She seizes him and kisses him,
_________________ and with bold face she says to him,
____________ “I had to offer sacrifices,
_________________ and today I have paid my vows;
____________ so now I have come out to meet you,
_________________ to seek you eagerly, and I have found you.
____________ I have spread my couch with coverings,
_________________ colored linens from Egyptian linen;
____________ I have perfumed my bed with myrrh,
_________________ aloes, and cinnamon.
____________ Come, let us take our fill of love till morning;
_________________ let us delight ourselves with love.
____________ For my husband is not at home;
_________________ he has gone on a long journey;
____________ he took a bag of money with him;
_________________ at full moon he will come home.”

____________ With much seductive speech she persuades him;
_________________ with her smooth talk she compels him.
____________ All at once he follows her,
_________________ as an ox goes to the slaughter,
____________ or as a stag is caught fast
_________________ till an arrow pierces its liver;
____________ as a bird rushes into a snare;
_________________ he does not know that it will cost him his life. (Prov 7:6-23)

It begins innocently enough. Sitting in a car together. Alone. Eating lunch. Talking. “Are you going to kiss me?” And instantly, the seeds of fantasy and rationalization begin to sprout. “Who will ever know? What will it hurt? I deserve this. She’s the one who approached me. It’s not that big of a deal. We won’t go all the way. What’s the harm in a kiss? I can handle this. I won’t let it go too far.” But it did. It does.

“Are you going to kiss me?” What if you were asked that same question by a member of the opposite sex today? Your secretary. Your boss. Your best friend’s spouse. Your neighbor. Your old high school girlfriend. “Are you going to kiss me?”

Rule #1 in the fight against temptation? Make up your mind before you’re tempted.

Genesis 39:8 tells us that Joseph “refused” the sexual advances of Potiphar’s wife. His mind had already been made up. The answer was “no.” Later that same day, the answer would be “no.” The answer would be “no” tomorrow. As far as Joseph was concerned, it was always going to be “no.” With his whole heart he had already made up his mind. He wasn’t going to allow himself the luxury of conflicting standards. He wouldn’t give in to the temptation to reason, “I’ll say ‘no’ for now, but ‘maybe’ later. I’ll say ‘no’ to going all the way, but ‘yes’ to something a little more innocent. I’ll say ‘no’ to this woman, but who knows about the next?”

If you and I have any hope of surviving and ultimately winning the war against temptation, here is a lesson we must learn. Our minds must be made up before we’re tempted! We must dare to stand like Joshua, having chosen beforehand whom we will serve, regardless of the circumstances (Josh 24:15).

“Are you going to kiss me?”

What about you? Is your mind already made up? Is your answer already “no”?

About Jason Hardin

Jason lives in southern Indiana with his wife Shelly and their three daughters. He works with the Charlestown Road church of Christ. Jason has written three books and a variety of workbooks. He's a fan of photography, baseball, mountains, wildlife, BBQ, banana pudding, and coffee. You can contact him here or connect with him on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

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6 comments

  1. Good thoughts, and great connection to Prov. 7. Thanks.

  2. Great read. Thanks for your encouragement and for letting you light shine that through your words we may also grow in Faith.

  3. Great thoughts Jason….Thanks for sharing. it’s just too bad that this had to be my team. 

  4. I remember an article by Berry Kercheville years ago that made the point that the last mistake made was thinking they could be friends… You can’t remain friends after you’ve gone that far… It isn’t possible.

    Great article Jason!

  5. What Bible version in the Proverbs passage from?