Are Your Texts Crossing the Line?

Justin and Trisha Davis have a wise warning for married people in the digital age:

Over the past few days, we’ve been in several conversations with people rocked by affairs. We’ve talked to devastated spouses trying to find hope and healing because of what their spouse chose. We’ve talked to repentant and remorseful spouses who broke trust and destroyed their marriages. Some conversations have been in person, some over the phone, some via email. Each couple, each relationship, each mistake, each affair was different. But one thing kept being repeated.

  • We reconnected on Facebook then started texting.
  • She started texting him for work and it grew from there.
  • He DM’d me on Twitter and we started flirting with each other. It seemed innocent at first.
  • Our texts started out as business, then turned personal, then got inappropriate. 

No one thinks they will have an affair. We don’t get married with a date circled on the calendar as to when we will cheat on our spouse.

Our hearts have been so heavy the past few days thinking about all of the hurt and damage that started with texting. People are always more bold and more courageous over text, Twitter and Facebook than they ever would be in person.

We wanted to share some warning signs when it comes to texting.

It could be a red flag…

  • When sending or receiving a text from a certain person causes an emotional reaction in your mind (only you will know this; be honest).
  • When you or the person you are texting starts exchanging emotions or personal feelings.
  • When you or the person you are texting compliments the other on a personal or physical level.
  • Any time you send or receive a text you wouldn’t want to read out loud to your spouse.
  • Anytime you send or receive a text that is flirtatious or sexual in nature.
  • Anytime you are texting someone more than you are texting your spouse.
  • When you share frustrations or unmet expectations with someone of the opposite sex about your own marriage.
  • When you send a text to someone that compares that person with your spouse.
  • When you receive a text that compares you with their spouse.

Words carry power. Please choose the words you text to anyone of the opposite sex wisely.

You probably don’t intend to cheat on your spouse. Very few do. Inappropriate relationships can start with a text message and left unevaluated lead to a place that brings all kinds of hurt and brokenness.

Are your texts crossing the line? What would your spouse say?