Are Your Texts Crossing the Line?

Justin and Trisha Davis have a wise warning for married people in the digital age:

Over the past few days, we’ve been in several conversations with people rocked by affairs. We’ve talked to devastated spouses trying to find hope and healing because of what their spouse chose. We’ve talked to repentant and remorseful spouses who broke trust and destroyed their marriages. Some conversations have been in person, some over the phone, some via email. Each couple, each relationship, each mistake, each affair was different. But one thing kept being repeated.

  • We reconnected on Facebook then started texting.
  • She started texting him for work and it grew from there.
  • He DM’d me on Twitter and we started flirting with each other. It seemed innocent at first.
  • Our texts started out as business, then turned personal, then got inappropriate. 

No one thinks they will have an affair. We don’t get married with a date circled on the calendar as to when we will cheat on our spouse.

Our hearts have been so heavy the past few days thinking about all of the hurt and damage that started with texting. People are always more bold and more courageous over text, Twitter and Facebook than they ever would be in person.

We wanted to share some warning signs when it comes to texting.

It could be a red flag…

  • When sending or receiving a text from a certain person causes an emotional reaction in your mind (only you will know this; be honest).
  • When you or the person you are texting starts exchanging emotions or personal feelings.
  • When you or the person you are texting compliments the other on a personal or physical level.
  • Any time you send or receive a text you wouldn’t want to read out loud to your spouse.
  • Anytime you send or receive a text that is flirtatious or sexual in nature.
  • Anytime you are texting someone more than you are texting your spouse.
  • When you share frustrations or unmet expectations with someone of the opposite sex about your own marriage.
  • When you send a text to someone that compares that person with your spouse.
  • When you receive a text that compares you with their spouse.

Words carry power. Please choose the words you text to anyone of the opposite sex wisely.

You probably don’t intend to cheat on your spouse. Very few do. Inappropriate relationships can start with a text message and left unevaluated lead to a place that brings all kinds of hurt and brokenness.

Are your texts crossing the line? What would your spouse say?

About Jason Hardin

Jason lives in southern Indiana with his wife Shelly and their three daughters. He works with the Charlestown Road church of Christ. Jason has written three books and a variety of workbooks. He's a fan of photography, baseball, mountains, wildlife, BBQ, banana pudding, and coffee. You can contact him here or connect with him on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

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God Notices the Little Things. Do We?

And [Jesus] sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, "Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on." (Mark 12:41-44)

God notices and appreciates the little things. Little things are powerful. They can accumulate to have positive and negative impacts on our homes.

Little things affect our marriages. Most husband-wife relationships that have grown to be strained are not so because of one-time, massive, easily-identifiable "meteors" that suddenly and unexplainably fell out of the marital sky. Most of the significant problems we experience in our marriages can be attributed to the multiplication of the little things---a selfish choice here, rude disregard there. Attitudes produce actions. Actions evolve into habits. Habits undeniably impact life at home. Given enough time, the little things can snowball and cause serious damage at the very foundation of a marriage.

Children who are not taught to appreciate and participate in the little things are set by their parents on a trajectory of ingratitude and self-centeredness. Mom is not the maid. Dad is not the ATM. Children are not entitled to everything their hearts desire, nor should they be treated as immune to sacrifice or free from accountability. When the little things are taken for granted, erosion of the heart is experienced that can eventually lead to devastating consequences.