A good analogy for parents from Ron Edmonson:
Many parents allow children to be a wedge between them. They have separate discipline policies, differing goals, and different methods of communicating with their children. They talk negatively to their children about the other parent and force the children to take sides between the parents. Some parents use their children as a tool to get even with the other parent, while others use their children as an excuse for a bad marriage.
Cheryl and I used our children to bridge our relationship. Obviously, couples talk about children naturally, so we used that time to dream together, plan for our parenting, and escape for our personal time. Our two boys became a glue that continually brought us back together. We never gave our boys an answer on major issues until we talked about it together first. We refused to let our boys pit one of us against the other. We didn’t always agree at first, but our boys didn’t know it at the time and it forced us to come together on a decision, which in turn helped strengthen our marriage.
Are your children a bridge or a wedge in your marriage?